In Quest of THE GOLDEN FLEAS
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to see!
Excitement ever buildeth at Fleaholme Towers, ancestral Seat & editorial offices of THE MIGHTY FLEA metaphysicalzine; for we are now but two issues away from THE FLEA’S First Birthday celebration; viz. Issue 8 in May, 2010.
THE FLEA, for that happy Occasion, hath invited to a general Birthday Bashe many of his Friendes from the Insect Realm; and even (in an expansive Spirit of Festivity) some from among related races & tribes, as witness Starfish, small Fowl &c. Insect Crowd-surfing, Creepy-Crawlie Capering, Antennæ Bopping, Waspish iPoddery & assorted Buggeries will be but a few of the Diversions & Amusements performed thereat.
As the Decadence, Wild Abandon & Jollity attain their highest pitch of Buzz at that imminent Flea Circus, Yr Hble & Obdt Flea-ish editor, Mr. Paul Stevens BA, AVO, ASBO and Bar, will signal for a ceremonial Gong to be struck; and will then make an Announcement pertaining to the Award of the fabled GOLDEN FLEA trophies.
These Golden Flea awards will be presented to the Authors of the Best Three Poems published herein during the previous Twelvemonth. Mr. Stevens will on no Account entertain any Offers of Bribes or Favours towards influencing his Decision on the award of these Trophies. Details of such Offers may be sent to him in plain brown æ-mails by way of THE FLEA’S editorial mailbox.
The Golden Flea trophies will be finely wrought of 24-carat gold, sculpted by Sir Mark Bulwinkle, RA, precisely to Flea scale. The trophies will be so tiny & Metaphysical in nature that they will be intangible, weightless (like gold to ayery thinnesse beate, in fact), and completely Invisible to the mere Corporeal Eye.
O Aspirants, picture, if you will, that subtle & ætherial Golden Flea Award, almost (but not quite) present upon your Mantelpiece, or in ghostly pride of place within your glittering Trophy Cabinet. Friends possessed of Metaphysically-trained eyesight will marvel at your Golden Flea’s utter Lacke of Ontological Substance; while those dull, sublunary Visitors, whose Soule is Sense, will be a-Mazed at the trophy’s absolute Ab-sense of Existential Fabrick!
An Honour well worth plying your Quills for, for Ye Poets of Albion & Beyond! And only two brief issues away!
In this VIth Broadsheet, Readers, you will witness the Herculean endeavours of our latest Band of Muse-possessed Argonauts as they set forthe to seek the fabulous Golden Fleas. Sir Alan Gould considers the latest methods for extreme Interrogation of Papists and suche; Lady Ann Drysdale shews through a Qeynte Conceit that she has a strong Feel for metrical composition, despite her Handicap as Member of the Fayrer Sex; Mr Amit Majmudar explores the Mathematical-Metaphysical-Poetical fields pertaining to Something or Nothing; Mr Martin Elster tunes up his Instrument for the forthcoming Flea Circus issue; Mr. Leo Yankevich descries unexpected Eschatological Vistas opening up within a common Puddle; Mistress Rose Kelleher hath deftly compiled the Hermetic Script of Syntactical Epistemology; & the Labours of many more such dauntless Poetickal Questers may be perused herein, in delightful Superplus.
Row, Argonauts, row! —Ever onward, even unto the Ætheric Spheres!