by Janice D. Soderling

If the phone should ring and if it should be you and if I should then quickly say before I stop to think that there hasn’t been a day or a night that I haven’t thought of you and that my back misses your warmth when I lie on my side and that I have been freezing since the last time we made love when you stood afterward beside the bed and looked at me a long time and said a few words instead of others which were harder to say and then bent down and kissed my left nipple and my navel and my sex if I should tell you that I miss you endlessly endlessly beyond all understanding and that I think your feet are the most beautiful feet I ever saw though they are only ordinary feet and that I didn’t know what emptiness was until you left me empty and aching and that I want nothing more than for you to be with me to make love all night long like we used to we could never get enough of each other I remember though I would rather forget that you are beautiful as Pan whom you had never heard of until I told you about him yes you are beautiful to me though someone else might say you're short and with a little extra round the middle but never have I seen a man so beautiful as you and never have I been so beautiful as when I left your arms to go and wash myself and come back to your embrace to make love one more time I never knew that love could be so devastating if I should tell you this if the phone should ring and if it should be you and not answer like I always do that thanks I’m fine and how are you with that phony voice I don’t use for anyone but you if I should say instead that I love you.


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