The Undiscovered Ire Lets It Fly
by Barbara Lydecker Crane
The alphabet of monosyllabirds
          doesn’t mention me, though chirpy words
          announce the Auk, Brant, Crow, Dove,
          Erne, Finch, Gull, the Hawk above,
          (I should be right here in this array;
          I’m somewhat short, in iridescent gray),
          then Jay, Kite, Lark, the common Murre
          (without discerning taste like mine, I’m sure),
          some pale-faced Nuns and catatonic Owls
          who come alive to terrify on prowls.
          Peeps are sweet, and also clucking Quails,
          but I avoid the marsh, with shrieking Rails.
          Shrikes impale their prey on thorns (those ghouls),
          while British Tits do bounce about like fools.
          From A to T, no letter is omitted
          save for mine. From birth, I’ve been be-snitted.
          So now that you have met this Ire, please
          include an ‘I’ in ranks of Avianese.
          And while you’re at it, might you find me mates
          to save me from my bachelor Ire straits?
